Soundtrack.

Sound tracks, I think that's what I've been making for my life. Every song I've listened to, I've listened to because I thought it best fit the moment I was living in. For every emotion I felt, I tried to find lyrics that sang all that I couldn't even find the words to say or whisper out of my own mouth.

Each voice that sang what I felt made me think about how much the artist has been through. How much courage it took to share their feelings, thoughts with complete and total strangers.

In middle school, every song I listened to, I attached small memories to, just like everyone does without noticing it. I had memories for every song then, some songs held so many memories, and some held none. Some held scents, or giggles that I remember every time I listened to it. Certain songs made me angry, frustrated, and bitter. While others made me cry and want to never remember anything ever again.

I know this sounds awfully cliche, but I miss just about every thing I used to do back in middle school, and I can't stop wishing that things would just go back to being the way they were then.

I was care free, in love every night and heart broken every morning, just to be loved and in love again that same night. All the laughs I had belted out with people I didn't even know so well, every picture I took with people who wouldn't remember me the next day. I miss that all.

Knowing that I wouldn't have been attached to anyone, or anything at that time. The only thing I ever attached myself to, was music. Every time I'd hear a song that brought back everything all at once, I'd sit there, and just take it all in. Breathing in everything I wasn't able to take back then, and try to understand what had happened, and why it had happened. Why people came, and why some of them left.

It's everything that comes back to me that makes me wonder about how much more I'll go through in the next some odd number of years to come. Who will I meet, and not what they'll mean to me, but how much will they mean to me. Will they make a difference in my life, or will they simply walk on by.

I want to know whats to come, just so that I know what to expect.... but knowing what's coming up ahead, won't make me ahead of anyone else in this world. I'll make sure that I'll continue to attach everything I feel, smell, experience to music. Songs that will make me feel glad that I'd lived such a long life in my old age.

I know that's something I'll never stop doing. Oh God, how much I love music.